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i_sims: Aquite's sim stories

News on the Fishers, and a Sim-ple Tragedy

i_sims: Aquite's sim stories

News on the Fishers, and a Sim-ple Tragedy

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Okay, everyone, I probably won't be updating the Fishers for a long time. I finally got the computer back, but unfortunately when I was setting it up I fried the motherboard and several other parts, and at this point they probably won't be replaced for a while. To my knowledge, the hard drive is okay, but it will probably just be sitting around until I get the new parts.

For the time being, I've installed the Sims on my laptop, but the quality is so bad that I'll probably only play it when I get really, really bored.

Like I did earlier today:

Now presenting... A SIMPLE TRAGEDY.

Meet Gilette le Tete, the first resident of New Crapica. (Spot the anagram, BSG fans.) Gilette's kind of funny-looking, what with her large nose and lack of chin, but she's a big-hearted family woman inside.

Gilette introduces herself to Derek the paperboy. She's admiring his large dose of ugly; he's hoping her low-poly boobs won't poke his eye out.

Gilette's pointy rack is also attracting the attention of a certain Benjamin Long. Although he himself is a skinny freak with sharp features, he likes a woman with meat on her bones and ginger cornrows on her oddly-shaped head.

Gilette herself has something of a one-track mind. And when Gilette wants babies...

...well, let's give them SOME privacy. Although I don't know what's happening to Ben's head in that shot.

Even though they're both pixelly and mutated, they do make quite a cute couple. They flirted with each other autonomously from the moment they met, and always rolled up wants to kiss each other. Aww.

Next morning, Gilette dribbles blue vomit all over her formal dress.

An impromtu wedding occurs. At least they're in formal wear.

I don't have fat sims too much, so I was strangly enthralled by Gilette's rear bumper, as it were. Girl has CURVES.

And now she has an extra one in front. And even uglier hair!

Gilette spends her pregnancy painting, while Ben meditates in the front yard dirt patch, because I am bored without my usual custom content and relatively unlaggy game.

To liven things up a bit, I decide to kill Ben off in a spectacular kitchen fire just before Gilette gives birth.

Ben, however, has a strong will to live and will not catch fire. Soon Gilette wakes up and the pair of them dance around in the kitchen screaming for a few sim hours, which is extremely annoying.

As Ben runs around in a tizzy, Gilette decides to give birth IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLAMING KITCHEN.

It's a girl! The first thing little Zipper la Tete sees is her mother's smiling face...

...and her father being engulfed in flames in the background! Ben finally proves he is flammable by setting his ass on fire.

Gilette dumps baby Zipper in the dirt patch, then runs back inside and watches helplessly as Ben succumbs to a fiery death.

At this point, I considered sending Gilette over to beg for mercy, but instead she does something completely autonomous and insane...

...she RUNS INTO THE FIRE. I had no intention of killing her off, but poor Gilette decided that life was not worth living without her beloved Ben. Thanks a lot, Gilette. Now I feel kind of guilty.

Rest in peace, Ben and Gilette la Tete.

And what of poor little Zipper la Tete, orphaned just minutes after her birth?

She will know no warm family life; only the blue van and expressionless face of the social worker.


Now wasn't that depressing?

At this point, there's nothing for me to do but to create a new family and phone up the adoption agency, since the neighborhood is empty and I've no idea what Zipper will look like. In the mean time, there's a gag reel:

I have no rational explanation for this. Maybe only her head is a vampire, so it won't show up in the mirror?

The van glitched out just as the game paused at the end to tell me, "Hey, dumbass, you've killed off all your sims and now the baby has to go to the orphanage." Crazy!
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